In one of those 'the answer is simple stupid' moments - some clarity was given to me by this page of documentation: http://www.objectpartners.com/2009/05/27/eclipse-setup-for-grails-11-development/
By adding the following string the run configuration for my Grails project:
-Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote -Djava.rmi.server.hostname=<yourHostIPHere> -Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote.port=9004 -Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote.authenticate=false -Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote.ssl=false
[Note this is obviously not a production setting, you will NEED AUTHENTICATION in production]
I was able to get jconsole to connect to the remote process. Of course local connections had never been a problem as JMX is enabled locally by default.
For anyone curious, the run configuration for a tutorial project is shown below.
|A run configuration for JMX with Grails on Windows Eclipse.|